Recently, I was feeling down on myself. I kept saying how I needed to be better - a better employee, a better husband/dad.granddad, a better friend, just better at everything. I felt like no matter what I did, it was never enough.
As I reflected on these feelings, it struck me how common they are. So many of us walk around with this sense that we're not measuring up. That we need to improve ourselves in a million different ways. Get in better shape, make more money, have a nicer home, be more productive, more stylish, more interesting.
The pressure feels relentless. Every ad, every social media post, every podcast, every conversation seems to hammer home the same message - you're not quite cutting it. You need to do more, be more. And so we get stuck on this endless treadmill, always chasing after some new version of ourselves.
But here's the thing. What if the real problem isn't that we're not enough... but that we've completely lost sight of what "enough" even means? What if, in our obsession with optimizing every part of our lives, we've forgotten how to appreciate what we already have?
Because the truth is, so much of what makes life rich has nothing to do with having the perfect body or job or relationship. It's the small, everyday moments of connection and meaning. Laughing with a family member. Savoring a delicious meal. Getting lost in a good book. Watching the sunset.
When we're laser focused on our inadequacies, we miss out on what's already beautiful about our lives. We forget to feel grateful for all the ways in which we are, in fact, enough.
So what would it look like to get off the self-improvement treadmill? To decide, even just for a day, that you're not going to strive to be anything more than what you already are?
Maybe it means wearing your most comfy outfit and not giving a shit about how stylish you look. Letting your house be a little messy or watching a favorite old movie instead of tackling your to-do list. Calling a friend to chat instead of networking on LinkedIn.
Imagine how it would feel to move through your day without the constant hum of self-recrimination. To actually enjoy and appreciate all the small pleasures and imperfect joys. To look in the mirror and smile at your beautiful, flawed, completely adequate self.
Life isn't a race to some imagined finish line of enoughness. So much of the richness is right here in this moment, if only we have the presence of mind to see it. We are, as we are, with our unique quirks and skills and scars, are already utterly worthy of love and belonging. We are enough. We've always been enough.
So today I am taking a deep breath, let it out slow. I am resolving to treat myself with a little more tenderness today. The unoptimized, gloriously average, good enough me is exactly the me this world needs.
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