confessions of a workaholic

A workaholic is a defined as

someone who has a compulsive and unrelenting need to work

I have to confess that I have been a workaholic since I was 13.  About 18 months ago, I fell off the wagon.  I thought I could manage my addiction, thought that I could set boundaries and stay within them.

I also thought that I understood what was at the root of this compulsion to see so much of my self-worth in how much money I make and how much I can achieve within a professional setting.  I thought I understood the damage this does to those I love, to myself and to the fabric of the relationships I am part of.

This is I know (again): I am Bob - and I am a workholic.

Mine is a relentless scar, one that that I have tended for so long I can not even imagine what life looks like without it.  It is a steady climb, always up - I am sad to say too often over.

I have hiked the mountain range of sugar cubes - short bursts of esteem and self-definition that never satisfy my hunger, never satiate my need.  There is no peak to my compulsion, though there are deep valleys.  For me, there is only the climb.

Peak from cypheraudio on Vimeo.

I am Bob - and I am a workholic. Today, as best as I can, I'll stay transparent with those I love, stay grounded in being a beloved creature of God, stay connected in the communities I am blessed to be weaved into.

Comments

[jonnybaker]

bob - peace for the space you're in... thinking of you.

[Ann Carlton]

thank you more than you will ever know for sharing this
your family loves you, your brother and sister love you and your momma loves you so very much
slow down and enjoy your wonderful Austin
Sing and dance when no one but your wife is looking and at the end of the day smell the flowers and then enjoy the stars and the moon
Lisa is there for you
I am there for you

[HeidiRenee]

thanks for your vulnerability on this bob - i know how hard it is to admit those kind of things. praying that the sugar cubes you climbed on will sweeten the solace that comes from knowing.