we live here. it's either the 7th or 8th house we've owned - it's probably the 17th house I've lived in during my 46 years. i like this house - our family & friends have made it a home.
i've have been thinking some about houses, triggered by a quote from Henri Nouwen. he frames the Jesus story as one that beckons us to move "from the house of fear into the house of love".
i confess I know the house of fear all too well. it is a place my mind wanders to, that my heart struggles not to make a home in. there are so many rooms in the house of fear, places that fit within one another like Russian nesting dolls.
i have noticed that my path to this house of fear is well worn - at times, it seems I run there before I even have experienced something. my instinct to run to this path is almost hard wired - I am constantly pinging my environment in search of fear, almost addicted to the stimulus that fear provides.
this house of fear is not a home - it is a way station to destinations that are often destructive, a bus terminal that directs me to places that offer black/white solutions and fast food sustenance.
moving towards the house of love is not how my brain reacts, it is not how my knowledge moves. moving towards the house of love demands a shift, an unlearning, a recognition that there is enough, that I am beloved, that we are connected, that today is where life is being born.
take my hand, you know I'll be there if you can, I'll cross the sky for your love and give you what I hold dear
the path to this casa di amore is traveled together, with a friend or lover offering a hand to hold when the instinct to bolt to the house of fear arises. i yearn to accept this gift, to relearn at my soul level the love that moves me and holds me and nourishes us all.