What If Male Faith Leaders Stopped Bullying & Started Preaching The End Of Domestic Violence This Month ?

Jenell Paris at The Paris Project is a blogging voice that I admire a great deal - she's a great writer, a challenging thinker and a person who models transparency.  Her recent post Do you like being repressed? I don't, in response to the feature article in Christianity Today's on Mark Driscoll of Mars Hill Church in Seattle, was just fabulous.  Here's just a bit:

In the last few years I have seen too many male authors of a 'new generation' in evangelical books and magazines accessorize their texts with women, and legitimize patriarchy by quoting a woman who likes it. Men are referred to by name and in terms of accomplishment, whereas women are described in terms of their physical attributes, in terms of who they belong to (husbands or fathers or --aack!-- no one), and are belittled in terms of their supposedly constant need for protection, leadership, and emotional expression. I mean, I'm only attacked by bullies once a week or so - my husband gets the other six days off. But there's always a woman or two who loves it, and is quoted to that effect (see recent articles on Miller and Desiring God conferences - same narrative format as this one on Driscoll). I bet you that if I told students they had to mow my lawn in order to get good grades, most of them would do it. Many wouldn't really mind, a few would complain, a few would refuse altogether, and a few would say it was the most spiritual opportunity for service they'd ever had. And they'd believe it. People respond to repression in various ways, one of which is acquiescence. That doesn't make it right. And even I would embrace patriarchy -- perhaps even in my heart -- if participation in that system was my only way to shelter and feed my kids.

I thought a lot about what Professor Paris is expressing here, particularly in relation to domestic violence.  This month is Domestic Violence Awareness Month.  Around the world, at least one in every three women has been beaten, coerced into sex or otherwise abused during her lifetime.  Approximately one in five female high school students reports being physically and/or sexually abused by a dating partner.

Religious teachings or scripture are sometimes misinterpreted, distorted, and misused to suggest that domestic violence is acceptable or even God’s will. Christian women often feel compelled to stay in abusive relationships by scripture mandating them to “submit to their husbands” or “turn the other cheek”.  Jewish women may feel pressure to not bring shame to their community by revealing the abuse in their marriage, or they may feel that it is their responsibility to maintain shalom bayit, or peace in the home. Muslim women may question the nature of God and may question the relationship of God to them if they are in an abusive relationship.  Rather than offering resources and alternatives to battered women, clergy have often advised women to return to violent homes and be “better wives”.  Abused women often feel abandoned by God, particularly in a world where God is almost exclusively thought of in a male context.

I am not saying Mark Driscoll supports or encourages domestic violence - certainly Jenell or other brave women who have called him out have NEVER suggested that.  In fact, Driscoll proudly touts his efforts to go after "men who cheat on their wives, beat their kids, look at porn, get divorced."

What I am saying is that: 

perpetuating a mindset where women are treated like property

where masculinity is equated with power and dominion

where jocularity and "radical" trappings are used to mask privilege and oppression

all of these things are the breeding grounds for the manner in which religion is far too often a co-conspirator in the domestic violence that is rampant in our world

Rather than swaggering proudly as a provocateur, how Jesus-like would it be if pastors & youth ministers - who are still predominately male - used their pulpits to draw awareness to the epidemic and to encourage people who follow their word to use these resources:

The National Domestic Violence Hotline

          1-800-799-SAFE (7233)

is staffed 24 hours a day by trained counselors who can provide crisis assistance and information about shelters, legal advocacy, health care centers, and counseling.        

The Rape, Abuse, Incest National Network (RAINN)

1-800-656-HOPE

will automatically transfer you to the rape crisis center nearest you, anywhere in the nation. It can be used as a last resort if people cannot find a domestic violence shelter.        

U.S. Department of Justice Violence Against Women Office 

Internet Resources on Violence Against Women

Rather than use our power to bully or sit silently or perpetuate violence, how Jesus-like would it be if men of faith worked to end violence and include women to their rightful place as 'full humans, emotional and rational, leading and being led, protecting and protected, gifted and limited".  

 

Comments

[h]

I think ignorance and fear is one reason this issue isn't addressed as strongly as it should be.

I asked some preachers once WHY they never preached on Domestic Abuse, and they told me they don't need to speak of 'social ills'...just teach on scripture!

[Sarah Dylan Breuer]

Bob,

Thank you.

[The Real Dude]

This topic really hits home with me. Although I am in my thirties and married, I am still affected by the abuse my father inflicted upon my mother and I. I understand the urge to quickly move past it, to forgive without thinking and to want to believe "it won't happen again". I think it is important to point out that verbal abuse is damaging and many man, not just women, are verbally abused. They lose their confidence and their "man-hood" as a result of it.

Honestly, it would shock me if my pastor spoke on this subject. Not because it is innapropriate, it's not, but because it might be unpopular.

Thanks for sharing this information, it was quite thought provoking.

The Real Dude
http://therealdude.blogspot.com